The Evolution of Vyacheslav Voynov

Wasn't planning on kicking this whole blog machine off until closer to Christmas but I stumbled upon this last night and thought it was a good enough first step forward. I haven't been able to stop laughing at Slava Voynov's NHL 12 picture (Slava 1.0 below) for a while because he looks like a Russian Bae Sung. Then I recently noticed that there was an updated one on nhl.com, and I got to thinking, how did he get to this point? It's as if he's been slowly de-Russianized over the last few years.

So, with that, I present to you, THE EVOLUTION OF SLAVA VOYNOV:

First up is Slava 0.5. I'm assuming this is sometime pre-draft, pre-awareness of what level of greasiness is viewed as normal outside of Russia, and it really shows:

"HIIIIILLLOO MY NAME-A VYACHESLAV I DO THE HOCKEYS! I VARRY ASSITE A BE DRAFT BY LA KING!!"

Then, Slava comes to America for his first pro season in 2008 and tries to adjust to life in a strange new world. The culture shock is overwhelming, and the result is Slava 1.0:

"COACH SAY 'VYACHESLAV YOU NEED HAIRCUT' SO SLAVA TRY USING OLD SOVIET TRICK AND PUT SKULL OF OX ON HEAD THEN CUT HAIR. BUT SLAVA CAN NO FIND HEAD OF OX SO SLAVA PUT  BOWL ON HEAD AND CUT OWN HAIR INSTEAD."

Uh oh, hotdog!

Next up in Slava's transformation is Slava 2.0. Thankfully, he changed hairstylists, but it seems as if he was a bit homesick, and tried to recapture the very essence of sombre greasiness he grew up with in the Motherland:

"I just want some borscht, okay?"

But this year, Slava is back, looking more American than ever. Here's what is maybe the final chapter, Slava 3.0:

"'Sup, you fine-ass California bitches?"

So there is Slava Voynov's journey from Soviet boy with dreams of making it in America to slightly older Soviet boy trying to make it in America. As for the motivation behind his transformation, perhaps it is related somehow to the Kings' recent history with Russian players? Or maybe he's a spy. Who knows?